Lasts

I'm really confused as to WHERE THE FALL WEATHER IS!
We had our meet at Lehigh yesterday. Ran the Women's Brown race 6k. And.... (drum roll please) the women's team placed THIRD!!!!!! Wooohoooo! I think there was something like, 368 finishers total? The course was slick as anything during the day. It caked over a bit more towards the afternoon, but certain patches were just BAD. Like going towards the finish there's a sort of wooded stretch behind the corn field and it's on a downward slant. I was trying so hard not to just slip down it sideways. My best time on that course was Sophomore year when the footing was good. I think it was 21:30. I ran 22:29 today, but they're figuring it was at LEAST 30 seconds slow. And it was HOT. I was not expecting the heat to come raging in like it did at 1 p.m. My breathing was a mess, as usual. So...I'll take it. I'm not ECSTATIC. I really like that we got third. It was nice having a trophy to hold up at the end after how hard we worked. But...Mile repeats this week and some hills in Pittsbugh.

This week has actually been sort of quiet. I was all over campus running mini-errands and I need to go buy more breathing stuff Monday, but it's been alright. The Capping blog is coming along. I'm just nervous because I hope it's interesting and worthy of a good grade. I certainly enjoy writing it, which is what doesn't make it feel like WORK exactly. So that makes me a little nervous...I'm going to try and do a lot of work-ahead this week so I don't have a ton to worry about in Pittsburgh.

I wanted to go see The Maine after MAACs because I LOVE them. But, Paul wouldn't be able to make it here for 8 p.m. from work. So I might just hold off and wait until we can both go because it'd be nice to go see a band we both really like together.

It's parent's weekend. Mom and Dad are coming today. It's weird. Yesterday was my LAST race at Lehigh (thank you, God!) and now it's my last parent's weekend. I wasn't really thinking about "lasts" until yesterday. It's almost as though I really don't care and I'm beginning to think I don't. I have so much on my mind and I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself that I just ignore the present, which is weird. I dunno. It's too early to think about this right now.

Saw 50/50 last night. It was really sad, but good. I was in a weird mood afterwards and just wanted to go to bed after digging the dirt out of my track spikes. Grrrr. Ruined a good toothbrush on that one.

I'm excited for Pittsburgh, nervous about the plane though. I hope my bag is the right size for carry-on. And I wanted to bring my Nikon, but that doesn't seem like it will be happening if I want to bring a back pack too. :/ So no peektures for me. Damn. Alright, I have to go practice and clean my room before my parents get here.

Parrot?

So I was home this past weekend. It was all good, yadda yadda. Got a ton of errands done (groceries, dry cleaned skirt, went to the bank, got travel sized toiletries for Pittsburgh, did my laundry). It was just unnaturally humid. Is it or is it NOT fall at this point?! Come on Weather. Let's get some crisp fall weather going. I want sweaters and the smell of fires. Apple cider and pumpkins. Leaves changing colors and a cold breeze constantly blowing around. I DO NOT WANT humidity, shorts, frizzy hair and the constant desire to take a shower. Furthermore, on my run Friday morning, I heard an odd squawking. So I look into my neighbor's yard and do a double take. There is a PARROT (yes, a live parrot), sitting in their tree. It was blue and gold and I'm assuming it was the neighbor's pet that was on the run. But you never know. Connecticut could be the new tropics considering all the humidity that we've had lately. Rage.

I also went to Otis with Dad. Went for a run. Once again, felt like summer. I was dripping after 10 miles. But we got the boats sorted out and moved around, which was good. Without Mike home, he needs some help. So I offered to drive up and help him Wednesday night or Thursday morning.

I am nervous for Pittsburgh. I hate flying and I need to find places to run while I'm out there. But also, it's going to be so hard to leave and say goodbye all over again.

This was in my neighbor's tree. Yup. He was trying to talk to me too. I think. Maybe I delusional from sweating out my body weight.

Blog is up!!!!

hey guys!
Please follow or at least check out a few times in the months to follow, my new blog! It's for my capping project and I'm trying to establish some sort of following. So go take a look at my journey through the application process for grad school!!!! It includes some of my creative writing samples, interviews, and some personal posts:)
http://gradschoolinsider.blogspot.com/
http://gradschoolinsider.blogspot.com/
http://gradschoolinsider.blogspot.com/

Dream Analysis

I really started wondering the past few days about analyzing my dreams. I've had some doosies lately. But the one tat ALWAYS bugs me, is how my teeth fall out. Some girl in my class last night said that dreams where your teeth fall out signal an instability in your life. Well, that's spot on. I'm a senior in college. I'm unstable. I don't know where I'm going with my life.


Ok...so I looked stuff up and it wasn't exactly what I was looking for. Internet dream dictionaries that are free probably aren't the best things to look into. But in further regards, what the hell was I thinking to have some of the dreams that I do? Like when I was 4 or 5,  had a dream that a giant, rainbow, tap dancing fish in a top hat ate my entire family. then we sat in a completely white room and had a chat. Explain that. I had a realistic dream of being chased up a tree in the jungle by a cheetah and I felt and watched it tear me apart and eat me. That one woke me ups creaming when I was 6. I've had dreams where I've gotten out of bed and ran to the bathroom in college to start brushing my teeth and get ready for class, only to see it is 2:15a.m. and my roommate has just gone to sleep. I was staying at Paul's and made him get up to knock on the bathroom door ebcause I thought someone was in there. No one was. So he grudgingly gets up, opens the door for me and goes back to bed. I looked inside and went back to bed, never using the bathroom. That was another weird one. And I didn't actually remember it the next day. He reminded me and then I remembered. I have colorful, wild dreams that rush and fly around. I was riding horses through a giant lollipop forest with the Harry Potter cast. I just don't even know where some of these things come from. Either I'm crazy or creative. I wish some of this creativity would bust out when I'm writing.

I'm tired, but can't sleep. I have a workout today. I want today and tomorrow to be over so I can go home Thursday and get a little change of scenery.

 I also miss this goofball.

 Scenery shots from Otis mid-June

Back to School

So I'm back. I admit I did plan on writing over the summer, but things "worked out" and I only came home from the lake a grand total of 4 or 5 times. My parents weren't happy and it made things stressful. But it was a break from reality I guess. I was still stressing over everything coming up in Senior Year.
So Paul is in Pittsburgh and LOVES his co-op, which is great news. Those 250 dollar plane tickets? Yeah, I bought them. Round trip. No stops. And I'm freaking out because I HATE planes. But I'm going. October 6th. Another nice little mini break from reality.

School has been hectic. My capping project is a blog. Surprise Surprise. Not really. But I'm actually exploring the application to grad programs on it. I'm conducting interviews with professors and current graduate students that graduated from Marist. I'm going to post my writing examples and my attempt at a personal statement. So hopefully it works well as a portfolio piece and as a way for me to organize my thoughts and the smooth the application process. I've been doing A LOT of interviewing between Capping and my Sports Reporting class. Good practice. I haven't stopped writing.

Running...now that's another fish to fry. I started Singulair to help with the breathing. It seems to work. Except I raced Saturday at VCP. Halfway through the back hills, my breathing turned around and I think I actually started turning blue. I was seeing everything in fuzzy colors by the time I stepped on the finish mat. No idea how I held out. My right lung felt like someone was squeezing it, much like a damp dishrag that you're trying to get the last droplets of water out of. Painful. I was second for the team and actually ran faster than my freshman year time on the course. I still have some work to do, but it's a start. I might be doubling up and using my inhaler with the Singulair. I used to have such great lung capacity. Sigh.

I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel though. I'm excited to move on with life, but nervous. I'm applying to grad programs, but may very well wait a couple years and just work to earn some money. I might do a low-res program so I can stay at home to study. I might try and get into the sports world either at ESPN or at a school, promoting the sports programs. I don't know. I'm scared. Really. I have good days, start to relax and then my thoughts wander to these scary thoughts and I stress stress stress.

Sooo...I have practice to attend. It's finally a little cooler out. I want winter. And snow. I really wish Paul would be around. It's been hard. I talk to him, feel better, then realize just how far he is and how I can't just hop on a train one weekend. I miss him standing at the station, casually leaned up against a pillar, grinning as I trip down the narrow metal ladder on the train. I'm trying to grow up and make those fond memories, not something that makes me cry.

And while this is in the VERY early stages, PLEASE follow my blog! It will have some interesting writing samples that I'm sending to these programs. Also some interesting asides and interviews. Hope to see some followers there :) Tell friends!!!!

http://gradschoolinsider.blogspot.com/
http://gradschoolinsider.blogspot.com/
http://gradschoolinsider.blogspot.com/

 Just some summer pictures I took, with the exception of the one of me wakesurfing haha

You ever...

...have one of those days, you're feeling great and being productive. Then you realize, oh shit. For whatever reason. In my case, it's the realization of being a senior in college. I was all happy, cleaning my room and organizing everything, when it hit me that this time next year is "grown up" time. Sink or swim. My Dad will be handing over car payments, insurance bills, anything and everything that a normal working human pays for. But, I'm not decided on anything. People are asking me, "Wow! You're a senior already! That's great! So what are your graduation plans?" Insert blank stare in response. Is it awful? I'm going to be 21 in like 27 days, or something like that, and I'm as lost as ever. I talked about it with Paul the other day because he's leaving for Pittsburgh at the end of August. 6 months without probably seeing him. I even looked up plane tickets from LGA to PITT. Problem: tickets are 86.00 NOW. In a few months they'll probably be back up to 250.00, which I cannot afford. I guess it's just the realization that time is moving forward really quickly. And while I want to have fun and live life, I'm still scared. I really want to go do grad work. I don't want the giant bill from it. I'd like to be able to visit Paul. I don't want to work in my dad's insurance agency for the rest of my life. There are too many thoughts about next year already and I fear a nervous breakdown will occur at some point in time.

Argh. Enough. I took a few days off from running. The weather has been abysmal now that I want to start back up. RAIN RAIN RAIN. WIND WIND WIND. Ridiculous. So I'm in search of an affordable gym membership. Failll.

I went to RIT for the weekend. Pretty amusing. Lots of movie watching and grilling. Found a good book at Goodwill for 2 bucks. Sat in Java Wally's for a couple afternoons with the best vanilla coffee ever and a good book. Spent a rainy Sunday afternoon watching the weather be ugly, as Paul and I just lay on the couch and talked. It was probably the best part of the weekend. Finally relaxing. And Lola, the new Subaru, handled the drive like a champ.

Mom needs me to go clean my dirty rug from my dorm room. Since it's raining, I'll be writing more. Guaranteed. ha

 Jasper :)

 Mom's Dogwood Tree

 Lilacs

 Some random tree in our backyard. I felt inspired I guess.

 Subaru Love

 Paul's Impreza and my Legacy. Nina and Lola. haha

 Inside of Letchworth cabin that we only got to stay in for an hour to eat delicious steak. Long story :/

 Paul putting together steak and peppers with Greg. He has skills. haha

 Greg and Megan. Greg broke upon a glo-stick and put it all over his shirt. Smelled a bit but looked wicked cool.

"I'm a beautifulllll butterfly!" hahaha. Paul explaining his mummy sleeping bag. haha. 

And that was my weekend in photos pretty much.

Almost done...

Grad work in creative writing? It's seeming like more of a possibility. As much as I stress and pull my hair out over it, I'm comfortable there. I like to read and write. I always have. I could go into publishing, teaching or being an agent. I just know that I need to be putting serious thoughts into it NOW.

MAACs are this weekend. And my Law exam is next Tuesday. So I will be stressed beyond all know how. :/ Of course. How annoying.

This past weekend at RIT was fantastic. I did a really awesome 11 mile accelerator run on the treadmills there. Their gym must have better ventilation or something. I was NOT a sopping wet mess afterwards. I went rock climbing for the first time. I sucked, but then again, it was my first time and now I really, really like it. The formal was fun :) Lots of dancing. And of course it was nice to just spend some time with Paul. He took me to get coffee in their library and showed me the academic side of campus on Sunday. It was nice and peaceful. But of course we went and watch the Dodgeball world record get broken in their gym. haha Had to do something crazy. And I met the craziest guy on the train ride home. He had is 24 oz. Natty Ice and kept watching this girl's ass every time she walked down the aisle. He kept asking me what I was writing. Told me all writers are "loonies". He was just a crazy person. He was swearing at someone in his sleep and kept jumping up out of his chair. Albany station stop was a godsend.

I have to go run. Write up the final version of my Reckoning Essay. And then it's off to MAACs and studying for my law final. And then I'm a senior. Life is actually moving too fast. I want to be done with work, but I'm not sure I want to be out on my own. I feel like I can't swim yet and they're taking away my lifesaver.

 Yeah, I laugh HYSTERICALLY every time I see this picture. hahaha

 Couldn't find black shoes. Wear Vibrams instead :)