Supposed to be studying...

"When I get big, I’m going where he’s going: South America. It’s like America, but south." –Ellie (Up)

Love that movie. It's so cute. I don't think I brought it to school and I need to watch it right about now. This week was insane though.  We had Mike Breen and Ian O'Connor here Wednesday night and I stayed till almost 9:00 to listen. Pete asked to do an article on it and I had PAGES of notes and was exhausted. So I left a little early. Still got some great stuff.

Than Thursday, I had my interview with Hudson Valley Magazine and I LOVED it. Polly, the editor, took me through everything I would be doing and it just made me really excited to get a chance to finally try out the field. Went for my run. Went to PT (I pulled my groin. Again. Figures. When the important races come rolling around.). Then I had to cover the swim meet that night. Believe me, I was doing a happy dance when I could finally curl up in my bed afterward. 

Friday - 2 x 2 mile workout! I forgot how much I liked tempo workouts. I just like that feeling of being on cruise control I guess. Made me feel like I was getting ready for a 10k again. The first time I ran a 10k felt like a straight tempo run until I got to the last mile. And EVERYONE loves when works feels like fun, not work. haha. My mom called after and needed me to start the witch hunt for Ben & Jerry's "Schweddy Balls" ice-cream. Back story- in CT and NY (I think), some mothers are complaining and having it pulled off the shelves. Really? Ruin more! There's one called Karamel Sutra! People just really love to complain. Kids have no CLUE what it's referring to and don't get the joke. If your kid gets it, maybe take a look at your parenting and put some parental controls on your television channels. Ugh. Anyways, I found four pints of it for her in Jazzman's. I have NO Marist money left. Anyone who wants to buy me sushi tomorrow night, I'll love you forever. haha. Went to the soccer game and then went to bed.

Saturday was awful waking up. Erin and I did our long run together and it was actually a beautiful day. Dad brought Grandma up with Uncle Pat and we went to Eveready. After they left (with mom's "schweddy ball sack" of treats. BAHAHA) I went to Applebee's for coffee with Lauren and Sarah. Busy night for me. haha.

Today...I am FREAKING OUT. My groin muscle...a mess. It literally runs from inside my knee and up and across my left hip. Seriously. I ran great until I was like, hmm...maybe I should back off. Yeah...been icing forever. Plus I have a workout tomorrow and MAACs Friday. I am stressed.

Ok....I need to go study for screen writing. haha. I've been putting it off like all night. BAD.

I miss my goofball :(

Weekend Update (not SNL, sorry)

Sooooooo...I had a rough week. Going home was exactly what I needed. After the whole heart fiasco...I am fine. Wednesday on was a little better. I ran and then went home Thursday. So nice to be home. Got some errands done, some homework...Saturday was the Albany meet. Of course it was cloudy and windy. The start was on an uphill. Seriously? Freaked me out. We brought Jasper along. He made tons of new friends and then pooped on the sidewalks and tried to eat an adorable little black lab puppy. Crazy. Love him though. The race was, eh. I hated the start. Bottle necked straight through the mile mark. And I felt like I was running SO fast, but my time was off or something. Maybe the course was long. I don't know. It was weird. I guess Chuck said the Albany girls mentioned their times were much slower compared to earlier time trials on the same course. So something was off. After the meet, pumpkin coffee and Otis!!!! Super. The lake was HIGH and looked like the ocean. The trees weren't that colorful, which was sad. I did laundry ALL night and watched Bridesmaids with mom. Laughed our butts off.

Sunday we went shopping. Finally got my Sperry boat shoes. Half price, man :) New pair of dark jeans, a scarf and some leggings. So just some basics really. I was trying to watch my spending because I have Christmas presents to buy and possibly a surprise plane trip to Pittsburgh to make. We shall see. I also found a dress for formal/lauren's wedding. It's an adrianna papell. They didn't have my size, but we finally found a store in Buffalo that had it and it's on its way. It was one of those numbers that didn't look like much on the hanger. One shoulder. I love that style. Ran 11 miles when we got home. I went to Holy Cross and then had to run back up the hill by Spartan's. Ugh. Stupid decision. That hill is death. It's probably only like 0.35 miles at MOST, but it's like straight up and curves. My butt hurts just thinking about it. No wait, my lungs are burning remembering it. Back to school and I hit traffic in Danbury. There was a white pick-up that was so charred from fire that it was mostly black. Spooky.

I HATE Mondays. It's official. Start off with an 8 a.m. and coffee dripping through my mug all over me. Then go to a presentation for my capping blog, which I'm proud of and WANT to show off. I flub the speech because I touched the keyboard and sent it to the next slide before I needed it. I was shaking. Not to mention, my nice black dress pants...bought them last year. Yeah, now they're too big. I didn't have a nice, professional dress belt so I had to make sure they stayed up while I spoke. Seriously. Nightmare. But, I have an interview lined up with HV Mag and I made it through my run and 5 o'clock class. Got two more capping posts written. So I managed to get work done. I just have a lot left for the weekend. It needs to slow down :/

I have one thing I'd like to accomplish before I leave though...I want to capture a Marist groundhog. I found out what they eat. Blueberries, apples, bananas. They're SO FLUFFY! I'm gonna die. hahahaha. Had to do it. Ok, I need to go to bed.

 LOVE this sunset picture

"I love car rides!" Jaspieeee <3 haha

I want to hide under my bed and never come out. But mostly, I want someone to just be there when I really, really need them. It would help if I knew what to say when I'm feeling down rather than just shut myself down to all interaction. I want to stop trusting the wrong people. I want to stop letting other belittle me and make me feel like I'm being silly or that I'm always wrong.

But then, my problems don't matter. They're not problems at all. If I'm not smiling, then I'm being overdramatic. If I smile too much, I'm annoying. I don't know what to want or do.

Nothing.

Maybe I just pretend to be happy. I like the idea of it, but just the idea. I follow ideas of happiness that aren't really the things that will make me happy. I need to legitimately be done with certain things and stand my ground. Easier said than done

Pittsburgh!

So I'm back. Pittsburgh was AWESOME. The flight freaked me out, but I knew that would happen. I was moved to an Express plane. So it only took an hour to get there. Thursday night we went to Piccolo Forno, a really nice Italian place. Homemade gnocchi!!!!! haha Paul's housemates, Rick and Kim were the ones that found it and brought us. They have excellent taste. Kim had just gotten back from Hawaii too. I can only imagine how exhausted she was. I was finally introduced to Bailey and Ophelia, the dog and cat who constantly spend their time in Paul's room. They're both wicked adorable. We made a Walmart run because I needed a razor and shaving cream. There was a sale on Halloween candy and I couldn't resist. hahahaha. Paul will be eating what's left for weeks. Maybe.

Friday, Paul had work. So we made breakfast, I took a nap (spooning with Bailey, obviously. He's a big cuddlebug) and did some homework. Health Services called to continue my heart saga. Wednesday night I had to go in because they told me I had abnormalities on my EKG and they sent it out to be read. I was freaking out. Then on Thursday, my office at home compared it to my old one and found some of the same abnormalities. So I felt better knowing I was just weird and not dying. Then, Friday, Health Services called me back to tell me that actually, no, there were some differences and I needed to get double checked. Freaking out again. I shoved it back and tried to just enjoy Pittsburgh. I would make my appointment when I got home they told me. So I laced up the shoes and went for a run around Pittsburgh. I actually ran to Paul's work, re^2. HUGE hill. Coming back up it was NOT fun. haha. I got in 9.5 miles, mostly hills. But Paul saw me when I ran down there and he whistled. I didn't turn around right away so this guy washing his car started laughing and goes, "See! She thought it was me!" I showered and lay down for a little while with Ophelia until Paul came home. He was tired so we bought Bridesmaids, Rock brought home Taco Bell and we spent the night laughing.

Saturday was ZOO DAY! Pittsburgh Zoo. We had fun. Paul said he'd never been to one before and just wanted to see the tigers. They had so many flamingos and elephants though! And at the end, a mini donkey and a camel. Kangaroos too. We explored the Strip District after and tried getting lunch at the famous Primanti's, but the line wrapped around the block so we ate at a grille around the block and wandered around looking at everything. It was a beautiful day too. We went in a Halloween Costume store and they had the Rosie the Robot costume from the Jetsons. I tried it on, but the arms sleeves were a little big for me. :( I loved it though. It was a good exploring day though. We went to South Side for dinner at Fatheads (the number 2 restaurant in Pittsburgh) with Rick and Kim. I could tell why. Everything was really, really good. New favorite restaurant. and they had a few different hard ciders and upstairs, all these micro brews that you could put in a "make-your-own-six pack". It was just a really fun place. We watched TV when we got home and Bailey laid all over everyone. Love him! haha It was an early night though. Everyone was exhausted.

Sunday was sad. Beautiful weather again though. Breuggers for bagels, which is becoming a tradition on the days I have to leave :/ I love driving around with Paul though. It had been so long since we'd seen each other too. I'm hoping he can make it to Regionals around November 11th and we can stay in Rochester afterward. Saying goodbye sucked :( But the Pitt airport distracted me with how crowded it was. It took me an hour to just get to my gate. I took a quick nap once I got home and then ran 11 miles for my long run. So tired. Driving back to school was NOT fun.

And today, I had my echo cardiogram done. I guess they said I'm fine. The stickies were just put on differently and that created the differences. I'm freaking out now though because I need to figure out my classes for next year :/ I only have 9 credits and I need 12 to be a full time student. I need to just find a fun filler class, but I'm struggling a bit. haha

Some peektures!!!

 Ophelia :)

 the amount of Koi fish was ABSOLUTELY OFF THE WALL INSANE! haha

 Got him to touch it! haha

 Polar bear stuffed animal puppet that ate the camera

 hahahahahahaha

 Paul was imitating the camel chewing hahaha

Some pics from the past few races

Third place at Lehigh :) Go team!

Oh and I have a couple more pictures, obviously. hahah

All done. I'm just procrastinating...well, not really. I did get some work done tonight...

Lasts

I'm really confused as to WHERE THE FALL WEATHER IS!
We had our meet at Lehigh yesterday. Ran the Women's Brown race 6k. And.... (drum roll please) the women's team placed THIRD!!!!!! Wooohoooo! I think there was something like, 368 finishers total? The course was slick as anything during the day. It caked over a bit more towards the afternoon, but certain patches were just BAD. Like going towards the finish there's a sort of wooded stretch behind the corn field and it's on a downward slant. I was trying so hard not to just slip down it sideways. My best time on that course was Sophomore year when the footing was good. I think it was 21:30. I ran 22:29 today, but they're figuring it was at LEAST 30 seconds slow. And it was HOT. I was not expecting the heat to come raging in like it did at 1 p.m. My breathing was a mess, as usual. So...I'll take it. I'm not ECSTATIC. I really like that we got third. It was nice having a trophy to hold up at the end after how hard we worked. But...Mile repeats this week and some hills in Pittsbugh.

This week has actually been sort of quiet. I was all over campus running mini-errands and I need to go buy more breathing stuff Monday, but it's been alright. The Capping blog is coming along. I'm just nervous because I hope it's interesting and worthy of a good grade. I certainly enjoy writing it, which is what doesn't make it feel like WORK exactly. So that makes me a little nervous...I'm going to try and do a lot of work-ahead this week so I don't have a ton to worry about in Pittsburgh.

I wanted to go see The Maine after MAACs because I LOVE them. But, Paul wouldn't be able to make it here for 8 p.m. from work. So I might just hold off and wait until we can both go because it'd be nice to go see a band we both really like together.

It's parent's weekend. Mom and Dad are coming today. It's weird. Yesterday was my LAST race at Lehigh (thank you, God!) and now it's my last parent's weekend. I wasn't really thinking about "lasts" until yesterday. It's almost as though I really don't care and I'm beginning to think I don't. I have so much on my mind and I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself that I just ignore the present, which is weird. I dunno. It's too early to think about this right now.

Saw 50/50 last night. It was really sad, but good. I was in a weird mood afterwards and just wanted to go to bed after digging the dirt out of my track spikes. Grrrr. Ruined a good toothbrush on that one.

I'm excited for Pittsburgh, nervous about the plane though. I hope my bag is the right size for carry-on. And I wanted to bring my Nikon, but that doesn't seem like it will be happening if I want to bring a back pack too. :/ So no peektures for me. Damn. Alright, I have to go practice and clean my room before my parents get here.