People tell me I need to take care of things myself...I need to do this, I need to do that. If I have a bad day, well it's NOTHING compared to theirs. I have it EASY. Ok, yeah...I'm not destitute or suffering in any way. But am I still not allowed to have a bad day? I guess not. I guess what hurts most, is having no one to talk to. I feel silly talking to them because my problems are always minimized. I'm already nervous about grad work, and then to be told on top of it that I shouldn't be doing grad work and I should get a real job...but WAIT, real jobs don't happen for Communication majors. I'm just tired and sad. I can't run and my chest feels heavy. I want to be out of here for good. I don't care that it'll be the end of college. I just want to start over somewhere...live somewhere else, meet new people who don't want to see me fail. Because I'm really good at looking happy and going with the flow. But inside, I'm not OK. I can only take so much nagging, so much belittling. I'm trying to follow my heart and do what I love. I'm not afraid to work hard. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong as a freshman. But you know what? Maybe I just don't have the mindset for all this right now.
I also am starting to not trust anyone. If I couldn't write, I would just be like a volcano ready to blow at any moment.
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